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                    My yearning for my dead wife will stay with me for the rest of my life

                    2018-06-06 Source:chinafxj.cn Author:Ye Shengqiang (dictation); Xu Quan (arrangement)


                    Every time I see elderly couples walking hand in hand, enjoying their golden years, I am reminded of my dead wife. In fact, I could have enjoyed a happy late life just like them, but unfortunately, my wife was cheated by Falun Gong’s fallacy of “eliminating karma” and lost her life. To date, it has been more than nine years since my wife passed away, but my yearning didn’t fade away with the passage of time and will stay with me for the rest of my life.

                    My name is Ye Shengqiang. I am 69 years old. My wife was Ma Shumin, who was born in October 1948. We lived in Xushui District, Baoding City, Hebei Province. After my wife retired from the Xushui District Sanitation Office, her physical and mental health declined because of her growing age, years of hard work, congenital weakness, and lack of necessary exercise. At the start of 1997, I escorted her to have a medical check in the Xushui District People’s Hospital. The less than satisfactory result showed that she had quite a few diseases, and especially diabetes. She felt rather worried at the outset. She heard that diabetes, if not properly controlled, could cause co-morbidity and even death. However, when she asked some doctors about it, she was told that diabetes could be kept under good control if she paid attention to timely medication, regular life habits, healthy diet and necessary exercise. Therefore, her disease was well controlled because she followed the doctor’s instructions and I took special care of her in life, helped her regulate meals and went for walks with her.

                    When I came back home one day in April, 1998, I found my wife absorbed in a book on the sofa instead of busying herself in cooking. The moment she noticed me coming back, she was very delight to come over and said, “I met Sister Zhou (Zhou Dongmei) today. She learned that I have diabetes and persuaded me to practice Falun Gong. She said that Falun Gong could cure my disease and build my body. She also gave me a book Zhuan Falun.” It’s true that my wife kept her disease under control, but she always had medicine with her every day and remembered to take her medicine before each meal. After all, diabetes imposed so many restrictions on her life and diet. To keep her cheerful and to motivate her, I didn’t dissuade her from practicing Falun Gong, but only said that she shouldn’t take it too seriously.

                    Her passion and persistence earned much admiration. She kept practicing Falun Gong at the practice site early every morning and often read Zhuan Falun and other books. She even skipped meals at home for the purpose of improving her practice. As time went by, she felt that her physical condition was better, so she got a wrong impression that Falun Gong could do something to ensure her good health. She was convinced of Li Hongzhi’s fallacies like “elimination of karma” and “final consummation” and she firmly believed that her “karma” would surely be eliminated by her practice of Falun Gong until she achieved “final consummation”. Little by little, there was a noticeable change in her personality, from a cheerful woman to a wordless practitioner. I could no longer find the light-hearted and careful life that we used to enjoy together. She cared nothing about odds and ends at home. What’s worse, she refused to take her medicine or to go to see the doctor. With her abnormal behavior developing before my eyes, I slowly became disgusted with Falun Gong. I patiently and earnestly tried to persuade her not to practice Falun Gong from the scientific perspective of preserving her health. But she always turned a deaf ear to my pleas.

                    How time flies! The Chinese government declared a ban on Falun Gong in July 1999. My wife couldn’t understand it and was stubbornly convinced that Falun Gong was a good way to “eliminate karma and disease”. Family members and relatives all persuaded her to believe in science and break away from the cult and she promised to do so, but practiced Falun Gong with other practitioners secretly. Misled by Falun Gong’s fallacies, she channeled all her time and energies into “learning Dafa”, “promoting Dafa” and “safeguarding Dafa” for the so-called “elimination of karma” and “final consummation and Buddhahood”. She thought that her abnormal behavior was the sign of her “high level”.

                    During the following days, my wife was obsessed with Falun Gong’s “theory of eliminating karma”, and believed that her physical troubles were attributed to “karma”. She neither took medicine, nor sought medical help from hospitals. What’s more, she paid little heed to diet and her lack of regular life caused her to get gradually emaciated, suffer bodily fatigue and numb limbs, walk unsteadily, utter unclear words and have headaches and dizziness since the outset of 2006. Later, I came to know that these were the signs of thrombosis, the co-morbidity incurred by the enduring rise of blood sugar. But whoever tried to stop her from practicing Falun Gong was a “demon” in her eyes. Our whole family did our utmost to make her take medicine. We even hid the drug powder in her bowls of food, but our trick was seen through by her. She was extremely annoyed and made big troubles at home. According to her, any attempt to take medicine and see a doctor meant she was disloyal to “Master”, and her practice of Falun Gong would keep her away from disease. She hoped that the “Master” could “cleanse her body” and “eliminate disease and build her body” through his “law body”.

                    In this way, she stubbornly clung to absurd ideas like “not taking medicine and getting injections in case of diseases”. Her situation became more serious. On one day of March 2008, she got up early as usual to get ready to practice Falun Gong in bed. Just when she took much trouble to sit well, she suddenly fell off the bed and lost consciousness. I had intended to persuade her not to get up so early, so this scene kept me off guard. I immediately called 120 for emergency help. When she was sent to the hospital, the doctors tried their best to save her, but her serious disease caused her to pass away on March 29, 2008, half a month after she arrived at hospital. With the nice wish that Falun Gong could help her “eliminate disease and become healthy” and even “go to heaven”, she left this world forever. The doctors told me, if your wife wasn’t cheated by Falun Gong’s fallacies, but instead went to see her doctor and took drugs on time, her blood sugar could be controlled. Such a serious problem could have been avoided. But her stubbornness to reject doctors and medicine resulted in a continuous rise of blood sugar and finally accelerated the formation and deterioration of thrombosis. This was the leading reason that the diabetes’s complication dealt her a fatal blow.

                    My wife’s death threw me into huge agony. Every time I feel unhappy, I’ll stand in front of her portrait, meditating for quite a while. Even today I can’t accept this hard reality. It’s the pain in my heart forever. Our two children didn’t walk out of their distress until several years later. But my yearning will stay with me for the rest of my life. I hate Li Hongzhi because he caused my wife to part with me forever.

                    (Executive editor: Lu Yuan)




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